exorcism

out of anything in my life i have ever feared, ghosts have not been in the top ten. i was petrified of wolves for a good decade due to the evil disney interpretation of one in my old bedtime story, donald cries wolf.

it was totally rational that i thought a pack of these lived under my bed and in my toilet, waiting to devour me with their demonic wolf-teeth and utterly soulless yellow eyes. i don't know how disney got away with ruining most nights of sleep for me until the fifth grade, but someone is going to pay for it. one day i will train a pack of wolves to kill their families while the animators watch. try and get a decent night's sleep after cleaning up your daughter's entrails.

i am also irrationally scared of large crowds of people, and i have potent fears about somehow being trapped in a circus warehouse with killer clowns. ghosts were really the least of my worries, especially since they can't really do anything to you. they just kind of hang around and move your oven mitts from one side of the kitchen to the other in a creepy and random fashion. sure, i guess if they really want to get dirty they can possess your body, but really, what's the worst they're going to do? make you act ridiculous in public places? i do enough of that on my own with too many shots of jack daniels. people would just think i was drunk again.

more than anything, i think that ghosts just ultimately make me sad for the ghosts, cause they're hanging out somewhere they don't know anybody and they refuse to go away. it's pathetic, really, and though i wouldn't say it to their face (if i could see their face, cause from what movies make it seem like is that they're invisible), i think they could kind of tell from my body language.

but what about ghosts that aren't really dead yet? like memories that just refuse to die for reasons i can't understand and want to make a machine to erase them (somebody please get on this whole spotless mind thing, stat). those are ghosts, too, and quite frankly, a memory of something alive that is just not letting go is a whole lot more pathetic than someone who just can't seem to shake the dust off the life that has already expired.

it's high time some things just die in the water, and quit hanging out where they're not welcome. i have way too many distractions as is. i don't need to think about things that i hate to love.

k.