bring a kerchief

i saw war horse on saturday at the vivan beaumant theatre in lincoln center. if you don't know what that is, you should watch this:



it was one of those plays that gets inside of you. it bounces off the walls of your mind like a ping-pong ball. i started crying about ten minutes in and didn't stop until the end. i'm going to have to realize eventually that i am just not able to watch stories about the friendship between animals and humans without a waterworks session, maybe ever.

remember the movie homeward bound? holy shit, i thought my eyes were going to fall out of their sockets on that one. all dogs go to heaven? spent three days afterwards in bed with mild depression. what is it about that bond that we have with an animal that makes me so sad at the threat of loss?

i don't even get that depressed about breaking up with someone. and granted, while i've had death suspended in front of my face for the last couple of years between my father's and grandfather's cancers... i haven't lost someone close to me since jackie died, which was in 1992. some of my acquaintances have done stupid things over the years and have lost their lives due to poor decisions being fucked up on massive amounts of drugs and alcohol, but none have ever been so close that it has affected me. and even when it comes to someone like my grandfather, who's death seems imminent due to old age and a decreased immune system from radiation therapy... well, i know his life has been thorough and beautiful.

it is our impending death that will always teach us the value, beauty, and fleetingness of life.

i guess when it comes to an animal that you are close to, it's like the raw non-judgement of a child... animals don't give a fuck about your past and how you have fucked up yourself and friendships in a selfish plight to find your path. they don't point fingers or tell you how you could be a better person. they are your friend, and all they want to do is cuddle on cold nights.

okay, so maybe my cats also enjoy pissing on my laundry and if i had a horse it would be really uncomfortable to cuddle on cold nights even though i do have a queen sized bed. but still. animals don't judge you. and that's why i get so sad when there are movies and plays about them where they may die.

warhorse was unfuckingbelievable though, and i suggest that you see it immediately.

~k.