Monday, May 26, 2008

a cinderella trainwreck kind of love

it wasn't perfect,
wrapped in gold with
a pretty black satin bow,
shining in the dusklit
restaurant, candles
beginning their shadowdances
on a bistro brick wall.
it was a cinderella trainwreck
of clusterfukk, head
and heels spinning
out of control, reeling
as my feet hit the pavement
in the city,
melodies between my ears,
when it all would
slide downhill forever.
praying not. but
knowing better.
there were holes
in the patchwork
and saddened eyes
and overwhelming thoughts
of loss...
but it was mine.
it's how it happens,
to me,
and i'm beginning
to fall in love
with imperfect, more
than i could ever
with flawless.
flawless is a
boring this,
clean edges and
straight lines
crowding my shortcomings
and pointing perfect
at my unpolished
i would never give
up, this
imperfect, as
i've come to understand
it's who i am, and
what i do.
i love both,
about me.

new york was fascinating. it was a trip of epic proportions for me, knocking me on my ass and picking me back up again like an abusive relationship. but this abusive relationship, it will turn into something that i know will be great. it has been an altering experience for me to be here, in this imperfect perfection, for the last seven days. of which i could never forget. there's more to come when i have a constant stream of internet, cause i keep getting knocked off, but i will leave you with this...

thank you.
to new york, and the people that have moved me while i have been here. there are no apologies necessary, cause i'm not sorry. how could i be? i'm okay with the cinderella trainwreck i've come to know myself as.


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