Thursday, August 26, 2010


ten. raising my children in a castle.

nine. driving this to work.

eight. commissioning a statue of myself and placing it in the harbor next to this old thing.

seven. the ability to buy my own islands in the shape of my name.

six. being able to go to space. this guy did it, and he looks mildly retarded.

five. buying a boat that looks like an eel and is bigger than most common people's homes and naming him oculus yachticus.

four. being able to call a renovated firehouse (with an ACTUAL FIREMAN'S POLE located in your study) "home".

three. fucking private jets, man. private. jets.

two. finally being able to release my brand-new number one single. and all it took was paying people to make me sound completely different than what i already sound like.

one. at last!!! getting around to landing a deal for my new york times bestselling book. fueled by patchy psuedo-wisdom and written by someone else.

Monday, August 23, 2010

the yesterdays

running in puddles
shoes slipping off toes,
nowhere to go but
small alleys between
buildings to catch
our breath, skin
wet from the
outside in;
smiles splashed across
faces that make spaces
for teeth to grin...
it's days like this
i like to live in.


Wednesday, August 18, 2010

t-minus 12 days to brooklyn bowl

for my upcoming show, i have decided to create several different pairs of pasties to sell, alongside of some of the leather eyepatches i have been designing over the last couple of months. alongside dead bunny tank dresses, bunny thongs, and bunny ears.

i started today. i got a good chunk of it done... eight shirts, and a pair of custom white bunny tassel pasties. normally, tassels are not a problem for me, because i mainly use a silk or sequin-spandex blend to cover them. this time around, however, i decided to hand-spiral the sequin seam, which is what i could easily compare to trying to grout a simultaneous string of legos to a bathtub the size of an areola with grout made of molten lead, making sure never to touch the shower curtain which actually is hung from the ceiling of the tub. did i mention that you have to rotate the tub by hand and not lay the legos down individually?

royal. pain. in the ass.

especially since after getting the first one all the way sequined, even over the ears (which happened to be too small the first time around so i had to enlarge the pattern and cut four more out), i realized i had gone seaming side up on the string of sequins, which made the pasties look more like a thanksgiving macaroni project from the second grade than a sexy pair of doo-daddles for burlesque dancing.

damn you, marijuana.

rip, rip, rip... sequins off, cut a new circle from the birkin, slice it, layer it, glue it, and string it. burn my fingertips from hot glue. brush away the sticky spider-web filaments of the glue from the sequins, and try to get it off my knuckles in return. snip, overlap, glue, repeat.

whilst letting the glue dry, i was silk screening t-shirts from a screen that josh created for me. i did better than i thought i would, cause as my life goes, i can fuck up even the simplest of things. but what's nice about it is that even though it's not like a hot press with perfect cut letters and symbols... it represents something i do very well, which is make something imperfect into an entirely new fashion statement. i think that's what it's all about, no matter fake plastic flower from your mother's kitchen arrangement or a busted up key chain into an earring. i think you should be able to wear anything from any room in your house, just so long as you rock the shit out of it.

so, after about three and a half hours of back and forth between silk screening tank dresses and burning the shit out of my fingers, i got most of what i needed to do finished and planning on moving ahead with the rest of costumes this weekend. by next week i figure i'll have everything done except accessories and props which will be a breeze.

oh, by the way. does anyone know anyone who has downs on a shotgun? like, a rifle? no bullets, you can flip the cartridge out (it is a cartridge, right???)... i need one stat.

but honestly, it was nice to get lost in the creation. and the sole fact that i was working around all of my friends from the House of Yes... they are all so inspiring and uplifting (and hoarders... they have everything under the sun all over the house and on the second floor in Make Fun... special thanks to kae for the trim and josh for the silk screen 101).

lately i've been thinking about the past year, as it's my first anniversary in the city on the date of my first produced show at brooklyn bowl. i moved here with such a different picture in my mind, from who i'd be in love with to what i would accomplish that could make me proud. i unwound a seam of sequins grouted in dried glue and tried them again, only to realize the embellishments were too small for the final outcome, so i chucked it and started from scratch.

i watched the paint stains of love bleed into the ribbed fabric of this year; tried to helplessly blot them out... which yes, made them fade, but unfortunately could never bleach the color from the fibers in a million years of laundry cycles. i hung the finished dress to dry the fumes, inevitably going back to it to check if the color would still rub off on my skin.

on this one year anniversary, i will have accomplished the first thing on my bucket list for new york, which was to have created something big and beautiful and doing so within one year of being here. it may not be broadway, baby... but i have a couple years. who knows what can be attained in a couple more?


Monday, August 16, 2010

stuck on repeat




every time i think of that conversation, my ribs break, one by one, to the marrow underneath.

every time. shards of smooth ivory armor drifting down lazy rivers in veins. miniature spurs that stick in my muscles, chip into precious, pulsating organs.

you have made it harder for me to breathe, which confuses the shit out of me because so long ago it was you who taught me how... well. we all get things twisted sometimes, i guess.

what webs we do weave, eh?


Thursday, August 12, 2010

status says: lame

swept clean, i
am? with
one click, one easy
tap of a key,
there's no more me...
so easy to do.
easy like you,
and your little friends,
so follow in
those footsteps,
make impressions
in that sticky,
southern mud...
your feet fit well
no matter earth or
mouth, so
let those feathers
with pride so
not seen, nor