Friday, April 5, 2013

coming up, spring

it's these days that really get to me, lazy and light and "maybe i'll just take a bath" kind of days that last and last and last... it's the dusks that make the spring worth surviving through (cause that little rodent spent too long underground and tried to will spring here but the seasons remain unmovable as frigid hearts and clock hands), i mean it's been a little chilly but the days are growing longer and the nights, warmer - and another spring will pass into summer and i will dip my toes in the water, whatever water that i can find, and i will think of golden sunsets in the park and lightning bolts between our fingers and green, green, green; it's amazing the things you never want to forget fade so fast, like the sound of your grandfathers voice even though it's only been a  little over a year, or the way my bones jutted from my skin (even though i know it's wrong to starve yourself that lightness, like feathers, like femininity), under leotards and tights that only encouraged me... and the things you try to forget, they stick; like superglue, they do, and your brain just won't let them go... so instead of feeling the soft grass on my back and smell that fine clear blue sky above, here i'll be thinking about these memories my body has moved on from, these tiny little ghosts that hang out in the attic of your mind.

that's okay, though, right? isn't wisdom just aged experience?


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