the bus was late

sunny, light, and
calm today,
smiles come
easy among
the warm gold
rays and lift
the bad, if
only for a second.
this worry is
heavy and winter-
dark, and dripping
in irony.
what messes
we make
on the path
to successes,
littered in this
winter and
gold.

this last couple of weeks has been too much for me. i want to crawl into a hole and admit defeat, even though i know i won't and moreover, i can't. i can't fall victim to being a victim. i can't stand people like that. they can't take responsibility for what they have created. well, only when it's a benefit to them.
i just wish that money wasn't so important to live. you know what? fuck wishing. i do it all the time. no more wishing. that shit doesn't happen, there is no fairy godmother with a damn swarovski crystal wand. wishing is imaginary. i'm all about making it happen, which is why i'm going to stop writing here about wishing and go get my resume re-written from the great hard drive crash of 2009. yeah.
can't give up now. might as well accept the failure and get back up for some more. inspiring, isn't it. : /

k.