Wednesday, March 4, 2009

boston's a go - the eagle has landed

so here i am. boston. it really happened, and i am really writing this on my new couch in my new living room, trying to get my feet warm. i actually did it, and i'm doing so trying not to shit myself with fear.

it's not that i don't think i'm going to make it, or even that i'm scared of failing. i'm actually most scared of getting lost in the snow, like i did last night, coming home from davis square. luckily some nice guy named eli who was walking home from the grocery store had an iphone. i really need to invest.

so minus that glitch, and the fact that it took me about an hour and forty-five minutes to complete the fifteen minute walk to davis square from west adams street from earlier that morning, it's been relatively smooth sailing. my roommates are awesome. they are funny and intelligent and they like to drink wine and watch family guy. je l'adore.

and the weather inevitably will get warmer with the onset of spring, which should be coming along any day now. eventually i'd really like to get my clothes and assorted household items back from storage in the mountains, and i think i'd appreciate most a new bed. but those things all will come and are extras anyway. things to make the room more comfortable. a couch is fine with me for the time being, or in my case for the last two nights, my floor.

i think the fear will reside as the days begin to get warmer and the nights shorter. and when i know that i can put away some money to save. that's my biggest thing right now... i have all these dreams and i finally have goals again, manageable and tangible and all within reach.

in atlanta, the desire was always there but i felt like i was cheating because i knew there was nowhere that i could chase after the dreams i had. but i stayed, cause it was safe and easy and i knew that i didn't have to fail if there was nowhere i could try to succeed. and so i just sat, idle, and allowing myself to give up, while little pieces of me broke off every day. not to mention, my youth. atlanta was safe and boring, and now, i'm uncomfortable but i'll pull through. even if i don't get a bed for awhile. even if i have to live on rice and vegetables cause that's all i can afford. it will get better, i will get through, and i will grab this life by the reigns.

a bed would be nice though. if anybody has one to spare, i'm available for immediate pick up.


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