in passing

"When you’re young, you think everything you do is disposable. You move from now to now, crumpling time up in your hands, tossing it away. You’re your own speeding car. You think you can get rid of things, and people too—leave them behind. You don’t yet know about the habit they have of coming back. Time in dreams is frozen. You can never get away from where you’ve been.”
— Margaret Atwood, The Blind Assassin

my ex-boyfriend wouldn't watch the movie napolean dynamite because he thought it was overhyped and unoriginal. in some ways i guess i can see his point, although it was produced by mtv, which is no more music television anymore than a monkey trying to play the trombone in the subway for money. there was this one part though, that always makes me devastatingly sad... when the uncle is talking about how things would be different if his high-school football team had won against the rival school's, how he would have been picked up to play professional ball and gotten out of that godforsaken midwestern town to find love and happiness and other things that make us live and feel from the inside out...

but he never did, and instead lives in the notion that it would've happened that way, and sits in his idle life doing nothing to make him happy other than reminiscing about something that didn't happen.

"you can never get away from where you've been."

heavy shit.

k.