Tuesday, January 19, 2010

1,000 yous

leave me alone. all of you, just leave me alone. i'm sick and tired of your crazy, your pathetic excuses, and your weakness. i'm sick to death of your whittling, your exaggeration, and the stupid shit that makes you special. i'm tired of irresponsibility, of carelessness of tongue, and heart. i'm sick to my bones with overwhelming questions that make me second-guess myself and my intentions. i'm sick of hypocrites that won't admit it and i'm sick of the phrase "i love you."

you don't love me. you don't even know me.

i'm sick of games and i'm tired of losers. i'm sick of letting all this get to me. i'm sick of my big heart and tired, so tired, of how it affects my head. i'm sick of thinking about your beautiful eyes or running my hands through your curly blonde hair, i'm sick of how your voice has resonated in my head for the last ten years like a racquetball bouncing off walls. i'm sick of your hands and the how they make amazing food and i'm sick of your art and how you have to be so damn good at what you do, i'm sick of thinking of that song you got me hooked on, even though i should've listened to the lyrics closer than i did at the time.

i'm sick of all of you, tugging me around, keeping me as a pretty little thing that collects dust in the corner, and never appreciating what good i have done in anyone's life. i'm sick of you. i'm tired of me.

so leave me alone, just leave me alone, please.

k.

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