Friday, April 15, 2011

i listened to a dumb song from coldplay and it got me thinking about the past. god damn you, coldplay. i hate your face.


well, this certainly has been a trip, now, hasn't it?

whenever i get up on that high horse, whenever i find the only swing that hasn't yet been occupied, whenever i resound the triumphant trumpets... a day will sit so heavy on my shoulders i feel like asking it to buy two tickets instead of just one because of weight restrictions.

i'm clearing my mind. i'm cleaning out the attic and dusting off the corners of my life. i'm re-evaluating, i'm re-choreographing, i'm re-everything-ing my simple little life and i just can't seem to get the clutter out.

find a vent. clear a path. polish the stone. change the bulb. i'm trying, oprah, i really am, but your suggestions from the article in the spring edition of your magazine entitled "thirty super fantastic ways to de-clutter your life" just haven't been working.

how many times can a girl start over? i mean, before it becomes futile? or os it all in vain?

we do these things, these beautiful tiny things every day, that make us believe in the greater good. we might sing in the shower or to carnegie hall, dance in front of a bedroom mirror or behind janet jackson on tour. we do these things in hopes that we will get somewhere right, somewhere proper, and we wait.

we wait for confirmation, we wait for paychecks, for retribution, and for validation. we wait for love and light and those days that make it all worth it.

this, my friends, was not one of those days. i know they exist, but today, unfortunately, did not even come close.

and although i understand the dichotomy of knowing what sucks to appreciate what's great... it doesn't make the days less long and it doesn't instill the memory that there will be good days to come.

the show was great last night, crash mansion loved us, again. work wasn't really bad either, but there was just something there, a metal jacket across my shoulders. seeing that spring is moving in, pretty soon it'll be too hot to wear in balmy weather, so i am going to follow through with my plan of removal.

i've been wearing the armor for too damn long.


No comments:

Post a Comment

Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.