(original post: august 20, 2007)

your words
inked upon my heart,
scarred into my forearms
have left me
nothing but empty smiles...
i see the lies
behind your lips
i taste the salt
and burning iron
of your blood soaked
martyred eulogy
i'm not your forever
i see it, i get it, i feel it
on top of your
hestitant palms
and retracting fingertips
your kisses are bland
and dull, thoughts
of someone else's
pretty eyes invade your mind
as my presence wastes away
inside your heart, an
anorexic
masochistic
love.
aphrodite
would be appalled
to know
the secrets you hide
from me, locked
without the key
i gave to you,
now collecting dust
on your bedstand
as you cavort
and distort
what little
i had left.
i wish
i wish
i wish
you perilous stars...
you have failed me
for the first time,
maybe my last.
what words you spoke
in beauty,
in vain,
that i believed
to be so pure,
but the wolf
wants more
than this little red hood,
not knowing
more is often
disguised as less.
less like me.
less like my speedy heart.
i feel like vomiting.
i feel like fainting.
i feel like i should be
anywhere else
but where i am.
i can't stand
life without you
but my life with you in it
makes my stomach writhe
in pain,
this is what
it has come to,
the lies,
the half-truths,
all of it.
it is my destiny
to be alone,
to die,
just as it is yours
to wear the sheeps
clothing
as you hunt
for another
hurt.

k.