superheroes and their masks

(original post: august 26, 2007)

what a searchlight
ha, what a metaphor...
we all search
for that light, that
second of epiphany,
sweet reality,
when things don't feel
real,
when it hasn't yet
set in,
so that new
will remain new,
not having to delve
too deep to care
is this the way it will always be?
shallow wading ponds
of heart,
not enough to dive
i'm alive
and breathing in a city
that's choking me to death
well, maybe
it's my own city
that's killing me
but how do you move out
from your own skin?
optimism
is the hardest elixur
to swallow
during rainy days
like this...

k.

my thoughts today... it's not what you are that defines you. it's what you do.

i watched batman begins last night. and, even though i am quoting from a marvel comic, it made me think. is the only thing that defines you what you do? is the only thing i am a ballet dancer with a propensity for wine? that's it. a drunken ballerina.

or is what you do defined by who you are? everything i've ever done, i've done it because it's come from a deeper desire inside of me. who i am. if i hated teaching i probably would be something like a vet. or a suit, ugh. i wouldn't do it every day and accept a lifestyle that was as underpaid. i could have sold my soul a long time ago for the money, and i'm happy i didn't.

we all wear masks. that was another big thing in the movie. of course, batman has a mask, so that people won't know who he is underneath. i thought it was ironic though, because everyone was so scared of him, in all of his capey-maskness. even though he was the one who was saving everyone. they were still adamantly fighting him as he fought for them. hmmm.... metphor alert: nobody really wants to be saved? i don't know, i'm going out on a limb here.

but anyway. there was another villian who wore a scarecrow-ish mask which, with the help of some ancient gaseous cloud, brought out everyone's worst fears when they looked at him. and when he did that, they were projecting their worst fears onto it and they were paralized with terror, of a figment from their own minds.

are our masks manifested from what we don't want people to really know about us? do we project our fears onto other people so that they can't reach us, find what breaks us down? these masks, that scare others away, that conceal what we don't want understood... aren't they easier to see through than having no mask at all?

batman is bruce wayne, the billionaire orphan who fights crime in retribution for his parents death. he wears a suit during the day and kills bad guys at night, saving others from the same lonely fate he was assigned to at such an early age. he masks his identity with a black suit, a cape, and nights shadows. and people are so scared of him. they don't thank him for his kindness, for risking his own life in saving theirs, but instead reel back in terror. i guess you can't really regard a man in a black suit and a cape as anything but unusual, but shit, people, he's fucking saving you. at least give him a head nod or something.

what point am i getting to? katie holmes looked at her old friend bruce wayne in the movie and said that line to him, which was ironic, cause she didn't know that he would be saving her pretentious ass a little later from death. not just once, but he saved the bitch like three or four times from her impending death. so, in reality, who he was underneath the mask and what he did while he was in it saved her from her last breath.

so she was wrong. i'm right. what batman does, fighting crime... what he is is not defined by what he does. what he does is defined by who he is underneath the mask, and what he went through to get there is what determined that.

so our masks, we should wear them with pride, because what they hide is everything we are inside. nobody should force the mask off of you, because then they've ripped off of you everything you are, and thrown it away. i don't think it's a bad thing for the vulnerable stuff to show through every once and awhile. but i don't think it's necessary to have to be maskless your entire life.

anonaminity is the key to privacy sometimes. just look at bruce wayne. although he shouldn't have told that dumb bitch his secret. she's going to be his downfall. i really don't like katie holmes. can you tell?

thanks to matt maher for this closing... he said his favorite superhero is batman because batman is human. he wakes up, puts on his suit, and works during the day; when night falls he puts on a superhero costume and fights crime in gotham city.
when superman wakes up, he has to put his human suit on and live a false life of a mortal.
but that's a whole 'nother essay.