second place girl

(original post: september 9, 2007)

carcinegoeous hands,
you have,
infecting all my
hard-earned walls,
strong, so strong
they break my cement,
my foundation,
and so knowingly.
you pushed last night,
tugged the line
a little too far.
you win.
you win,
cause i'm too tired
to tug
anymore.
you knew
i knew
and she knew
i knew
she knew,
so we were all studying
the same subject
unspoken, but
mutual.
i knew i had lost,
i saw it in her eyes
on you, your eyes
on her,
and i don't want
to care
anymore.
your hands,
eyes,
rough beard on my
sweet skin,
it's enough...
too much.
you were silent
because you had no
argument, i know.
i don't want
to fight
for something
so shallow
when depth
is what i seek, and
what you most
avoid.
goodbye, for now,
allow
the time to plaster
the regrets upon the wall,
cause i'm too tired
and you,
too unwilling to change,
and this is goodbye,
without
the hard edges.

k.